i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
