What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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