Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
