i can't believe i had my finger in that
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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