She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
