If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
