shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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