i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
