We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
