I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
