Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
