I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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