Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
