his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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