I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize