We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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