i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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