What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
