Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
