I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
