I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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