You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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