I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
