You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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