We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
