Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
