her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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