so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
