her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
