He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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