im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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