I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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