Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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