i think my tv is drunk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So many bounce houses so little time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
