Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
