i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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