dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
