my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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