Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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