Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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