Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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