You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
