Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
