Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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