i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize