i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
