found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
