time to smoke my breakfast
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
