You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
