I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my being single is dangerous.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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