Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
