The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
