Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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