May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
