It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
