But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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