Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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