More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
