Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
