I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
as a side note pls kill me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
