WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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