a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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