theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
